Spread Sex Virally. Safe Sex, That Is…

Apparently, Boston teens need to have protected sex and the public health system is using Facebook, YouTube and MTV to tell them that.

There has been a 70 percent increase in Chlamydia cases in Boston since 1999. Understanding that adolescents would rather hear from their peers than be told by some old woman about safe sex (sorry Sue Johanson), the Boston Public Health Commission held the “Get Reel: Check Yourself” contest. The winning PSA features teenagers in a classroom learning about condoms and other safe sex practices from a teen instructor. Teens can also interact on a Facebook page and ask questions anonymously.

On a side note: I was talking to a nurse a couple of months ago about weird baby names and she said that when she worked in labor and delivery, one of the mothers wanted to name her daughter Chlamydia because it sounded pretty. They strongly encouraged her to reconsider.

The Winning PSA

Women are Born to Steal Men? New Research Suggests that Woman are Subconsciously Drawn to Other Attached Men

New research out from the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology suggests that single seek attached men. The study shows that single women were significantly more interested in the male when he was attached. The researchers suggest that it may be because an attached man has demonstrated his ability to commit and in some ways his qualities have already been pre-screened by another woman.

You can add your comments to this story on a NY Times blog page.

How the Study was Done:
To investigate, the researchers quizzed male and female undergraduates — some involved in romantic relationships, some unattached — about their ideal romantic partner.
Next, each of the experimental subjects was told that he or she had been matched by a computer with a like-minded partner, and each was shown a photo of an attractive person of the opposite sex. (All the women saw the same photo, as did all the men.) Half of the subjects were told that their match was already romantically involved with someone else, while the other half were told that their match was unattached. Then the subjects were all asked how interested they were in their match.
To the men in the experiment, and to the women who were already in relationships, it didn’t make a significant difference whether their match was single or attached. But single women showed a distinct preference for mate poaching. When the man was described as unattached, 59 percent of the single women were interested in pursuing him. When that same man was described as being in a committed relationship, 90 percent were interested.

My Latest Piece: This Week's Fiction Cover Story at CleanSheets.com

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Eight Words and Phrases to Avoid in LGBT Communications

Check out this post to the “Out Front Blog,” a blog dedicated to stimulating discussion on gay and lesbian communication issues. Bryan Blaise suggests eight words and phrases that marketers and communicators should avoid using and why.

Read the whole post

• Lifestyle or “the gay lifestyle”
• Sexual preference or preference
• Choice, choose or “choose to be gay”
• Homosexual
• Alternative
• Tolerance
• Special rights
• Friend

Who is to lead sex talk now that Sue Johanson and Dr. Ruth have quieted?

In the 80’s, men and women seeking answers to common and outrageously personal sex questions knew to turn to the famed Dr. Ruth Westheimer, a “psychosexual therapist who helped to pioneer the field of media psychology with her radio program, Sexually Speaking, which began in September of 1980. Her popularity inspired parodies mocking her signature German accent, but her advice was yet valued and undeniable.

Dr. Ruth’s media monopoly faded away by the turn of the century and from 2002 to 2008, American viewers turned to the straight-talking, Canadian grandmother, Sue Johanson and her live phone-in show Talk Sex with Sue Johanson.

With both of these elderly educators shying away from their television, radio and web presences, where are we to turn?

A friend of mine suggested Dr. Drew Pinsky, longtime host of the radio call-in show “Love Line,” but Dr. Drew’s intended audience is much younger. According to the shows web site, it has the primary goal of “helping youth and young adults with relationship, sexuality and drug addiction problems.” Not to say that it isn’t important for adolescents to discuss the embarrassment of being caught having sex at school, but what about more “adult” questions.

To whom are we to turn to for sexual guidance? Who is our new fornication figurehead?

Here are some Sue and Dr. Ruth clips to remind us of times when sex educators were front and center.

This “buzzworthy” toy has gone mainstream and is sold at Wal-Mart?

A recent New York Times article revealed two “shocking truths” about vibrators.

One: that more than ever, men and women of the “mainstream” consider this “hummmdinger” of a sex toy to be part of a healthy sex life.

And two: that vibrators are sold at Wal-Mart!

First, to the less shocking point, number one: The article cites findings from an Indiana University study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine finding that fifty-three percent of women and nearly half of all men reporting used a vibrator. Eighty-one percent of women and 91 percent of men who’ve used one report having done so with a partner.

The Times writer then points out that in a 1974 edition of The Journal of Popular Culture, the vibrator was dismissed as a “masturbatory machine” for “sexually dysfunctional females.”

Now on to the more shocking revelation: The article also notes that “vibrators are now sold at Wal-Mart, 7-Eleven and CVS.”

Really?! Indeed, search for the term “vibrator” on Walmart.com and you’ll get Durex’s “Play” Waterproof vibrator. And yes, my friends, shoppers provided a 5-star rating and personal testimonies.

I find it interesting that this mega chain won’t sell music that contains profanity, but will sell a sex toy.

I think I’ve just found a reason to shop at Wal-Mart.

Sharing is Sexy; Inspiration from "From Porn to Poetry 2"

Just days ago I received in the mail a copy of From Porn to Poetry 2, Clean Sheets second collection of their favorite fiction, essays and poetry. Of course, it’s filled with imaginative, super sexy stories (after all, Clean Sheets is the “standard for online erotica”), but I’m actually more attracted to the essays, which often provide thought provoking perspectives on many things erotic. This time around, for example, one man’s calm explanation of why he finds tennis to be sexy and another’s list of 25 Things to Do to a Tied-Down Lover.

However, the loveliest piece so far, I read tonight. In Brian Peters’ Fires at Midnight, he muses on the power of relationship sex, saying “Nearly all sex is relationship sex, because nearly all sex, and nearly all fantasies about sex are social constructs.” He then continues by analyzing four elements that keep the fire in a relationship: Listening, Learning, Lusting and Sharing.

This passage about Sharing I find particularly powerful and consider it worth sharing with you tonight:

We forget that the little stuff matters. Life is made of moments, the present one being all we have for sure, and sharing them is a pure joy. Sex is made from so many obvious sharings – sharing a hug, sharing a kiss, sharing a bed, sharing our bodies. But there are uncounted other things to share – sharing a sunset, sharing a walk in the rain, sharing an ice-cream cone, sharing a laugh, sharing a tear, sharing our joy, sharing I want you. Sharings are additive, somehow. Sharing a sunset brings added meaning to sharing a walk in the rain, and sharing moments of sadness brings an added dimension to sharing moments of joy. And if you wonder about the knowing smile the been-together-for-years couple seems to share, it’s just that they know sharing so many moments makes sharing their bodies electric.

If you want some more titillating reading, you can get copies of this and the first edition of From Porn to Poetry on Amazon.